Hey guys! Me here - I took a break this summer from writing posts because of my big move to San Francisco. I've been here just about two months now and I feel like I can finally breathe (a little!)
Moving has been quite the adjustment. I feel like my entire world shifted over night and to be honest, it's been quite the bumpy ride. There are definitely times where I feel like I've failed to keep my head above water. New city, new job, new (TINY) apartment, a roommate (I haven't had one in 3 years!), adjusting to life without a car, and doing it all alone has been more than overwhelming.
My adjustment to SF has been a little like Murphy's law. Week 1 - my furniture I got delivered wouldn't fit up the curved stairs and narrow hallways of these old San Francisco buildings so I was without a bed the first few nights. Then my mirror I had diligently been tracking arrived shattered. The second one I ordered was no where to be found even though it was marked as delivered. You guys get the picture...
My second week here I rushed myself to the ER at 2 am (thankfully Uber and Lyft are available everywhere in the city at all times) because of swollen lymph nodes that got out of control over night. I still went to work the next day pretending I was fine (but I was definitely losing it a little on the inside from the stress).
Fast forward to July and my 27th birthday. I think this was the first birthday I spent without my family and best friends and it was just rough. I took myself to the spa and had a nice day of pampering myself BUT I felt like the whole time I was just thinking to myself, 'why did I decide to drop my entire life and come here!?' Throw in some troubles with my personal love life and I think I had just about had it. I was in tears, thinking to myself - I want to give up and just go back home.
So, as I sit here in bed typing this (I currently have ZERO living room furniture until the weekend so I have no other choice than to work from bed...I know, just another curveball), I can't help but notice that I haven't given my resignation or dropped my lease yet. I'm still here, knowing how lucky I am to live in such an exciting city. I think that sometimes when it rains it pours and knowing how to deal is crucial.
1. NOT EVERYTHING IS AS IT APPEARS:
I think a lot of people would be surprised to read this post and hear that things are probably going less than well. I've had so many friends back in San Diego look at my Instagram feed and message me saying 'Are you absolutely loving SF or what!?'. It's hard to say, well no...I'm going through some s**t with this move right now. If you look at my Instagram feed, I look so happy and on top of the world - but that's just because Instagram is a highlight reel. It's important to remember that. I'm showcasing my best moments. I'm posting pictures of myself in cute outfits at brunch or on walks around the city - definitely not when I'm half awake in workout clothes at 6:30am waiting for my train at the BART station. Not everything you see on social media is as it appears. I think it's important to remember than in hard times -- everyone goes through crap (even bloggers who are on that amazing vacation or that one friend of a friend who's always posting bikini pictures on the beach).
2. IT'S OKAY TO BE SELFISH
I think a lot of us have a hard time being selfish and doing things in our own best interest. But it's totally OK and even necessary (especially when life's throwing you curveballs). It's ok to not go out on a Friday night just because your friends are telling you to come out if you need a time alone on the couch with a movie to declutter your thoughts. It's ok to bail on brunch if you feel like going to a spin class on a Sunday morning is going to better serve you through the day. It's ok to splurge on a pricy face mask and pamper yourself after work if that's going to give you joy. It's ok to stand up for yourself (even if it's uncomfortable) if you feel like someone's walking all over you. I think having these moments to myself where I can workout, treat myself, or just simply assert myself to regain control definitely help when life feels like it's just one bump in the road after the next.
3. KINDNESS AND A GRATEFUL HEART GO A LONG WAY
I think at the end of the day, no matter how much things seem to suck in the moment that being kind and expressing gratitude can go a long way in dealing with a tough situation. Call it the optimist in me, but I refuse to let my circumstances make me a totally miserable person to be around. Extending a smile to strangers, letting someone drive in front of you on the road or doing someone a favor just because have all genuinely made me feel better, even if I get nothing in return. Even if someone hurts you, I don't think there's any use in treating them poorly as well. Being kind always works in your favor.
I think it's also important to always be grateful. As much as I have a love/hate relationship with SF, I can't help but feel so lucky I get to live in such a cool city. So everyday, I've been finding things to do here that I couldn't do back in San Diego - no matter how big or small. The other day I decided to walk home from the Ferry Building (with a gorgeous view of the Bay Bridge) down to Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf before making my way up Russian Hill and back to my apartment in the Cow Hollow/Marina area. I'm not sure where else I could have seen 4 tourist sights in one day on my way home but I felt pretty grateful in that moment to be in SF.
I truly think the worst is out of the way now (and Mercury is out of damn retrograde!) and I'm so excited to see what San Francisco and the future has in store for me. La Vie Est Belle. Shop this look below (I'm loving the cute cherry print and lace up back details on this dress!)